Help me kill a tree

 10 years ago I planted a Pecan tree about 8 feet from the house.  New
home owner OK!  Well the tree is 30-40 feet high now and hanging over
the house.  To make matters worse the shower/bathroom is the closest
thing to the tree.  I know roots will eventually find the drains, if
it hasn't already done so.  

Now my problem.  My wife will not let me kill it.  She gets upset when
I replace the annuals.  She almost wants to have a funeral and for a
while I'm a killer.  

How do I kill the Pecan tree so it looks like it died a natural death?
I have the air conditioner guy around the corner come over in uniform
with a clipboard and pretend he is a arborist.  I'll get that done.
Friends tell me I can nail a copper nail in the trunk and it will die.
True or False.  Any better ideas.

Thanks,
Tango

 My dad would always say the best way is boiling water with Salt in It, takes
time , but It works.

 
Grow a pair and borrow a chain saw. Be careful.

 Steveo said:


Agreed.

Perhaps, as an alternative to looking at it as, "killing", the OP could
look at it as "replacing" the tree. Find a suitable alternative species for
the location, and put it in as soon as the old stump is removed.

Besides, that devious shit ain't gonna work. He's gonna get caught (we
/always/ effin' get caught, don't we?), and his ol' lady's gonna turn the
a/c dood in for impersonating an arborist. ;)
--

Eggs

-Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

 eggsUNDERSCOREHEREzachtly@hotmail.com wrote:

Right, get the saw. :)