Posted by kate on March 5, 2010, 5:52 pm
On Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:44:21 -0500, "Dan L."
>wrote:
>> On Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:48:46 -0500, "Dan L."
>>
>> >
>> >> balvenieman@invalid.net wrote:
>> >> >
>> >> >> I would never do something like that. It would lead to being
>> >> >> personally marked as "always" having a surplus, which I would
>> >> >> "owe" to people, with zero understanding that I had worked for
>> >> >> the extra food. Many people blow things out of proportion, and
>> >> >> have an amazing sense of entitlement.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> If I wanted to donate food, I would do so via a food bank, soup
>> >> >> kitchen, shelter, etc.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> This isn't about being "selfish." It's about having healthy
>> >> >> boundaries. I have learned to sort of depersonalise any
>> >> >> generosity, because so many prospective recipients just have no
>> >> >> limits to what they expect, demand, and feel entitled to from me.
>> >> > LOL! As has been stated: "Deja vu, all over again". No more in-kind
>> >> > donations for me. Frankly, I discovered years ago that "help your
>> >> > neighbor out a little if you can" bizness requires closer acquaintace
>> >> > with neighbors than I want!
>> >>
>> >> I understand what you and CFC are saying but I have another situation. I
>> >> get on well with all my neighbours and we are as close as we want to be,
>> >> which varies but doesn't involve spending days at each other's house but
>> >> does include actually talking and interacting beyond superficial
>> >> politeness.
>> >> We all help each other and give each other things. If somebody needs a
>> >> lift
>> >> to town or to be towed out of a bog it is done, if somebody has excess
>> >> veges
>> >> they give them away, if somebody has to do something and needs a child
>> >> minder such will be found.
>> >>
>> >> There is no sense of entitlement nor of keeping score, nothing is given
>> >> grudgingly nor does anybody ask for too much. It's kind of nice.
>> >>
>> >> David
>> >
>> >Same as in my neighborhood which is in the country. I used to live in
>> >the city, life is different in the city. In the country most of my
>> >neighbors are close as one can get to self sufficiency. If something
>> >fails in the country, the community will come and help. Most people in
>> >the country are "jack of all trades". Sort of like the Amish
>> >communities. In the country "Good deeds are rewarded".
>> >
>> >The cities are like complex machines and much more efficient than in
>> >those living in the country. One cog fails and the system grinds to a
>> >halt, resulting in chaos. The cities require specialized trades to keep
>> >the system going. When the chaos heats up it will be neighbor against
>> >neighbor. If you give to your neighbor in the city, that specialized
>> >neighbor will be dependent on you. In the city "No good deed goes
>> >unpunished".
>> >
>> >My worldly views... Dan
>>
>> I live in the city. There are good neighbors and not so good neighbors
>> everywhere, I suspect. I think what you project is often what you
>> receive.
>Not receive, taken! by others from those that live in the city.
>You can have that delusional world called the "city" :)
Granted, I would love to live in the country with lots of acres and
neighbors down the road apiece. "My yard" is full of trees and herbs
and flowers - one neighbor likes it because it looks country - another
hates it for the same reason.
>> I like giving.
>Sounds like a preachers wife or goes to church in the hope of salvation.
>Do you give because if you do not give, you will not be in Gods favor.
LOL! Last time I was in a church was for a funeral, a few years ago.
It's probably just a bad habit, as I'm not good at all at taking. And
there are too many "Gods" out there for me to try to win over.
>If you give and expect absolutely nothing in return, including salvation.
>Then I have the highest respect and regards to you!
I don't have a clue what salvation would look like, but I tend to
think it's a state of mind, not something that happens after we're
composting.
>Enjoy Life... Dan
I do sometimes - same back at you.
Posted by Dan L. on March 5, 2010, 8:01 pm
wrote:
> On Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:44:21 -0500, "Dan L."
>
> >wrote:
> >
> >> On Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:48:46 -0500, "Dan L."
> >>
> >> >
> >> >> balvenieman@invalid.net wrote:
> >> >> >
> >> >> >> I would never do something like that. It would lead to being
> >> >> >> personally marked as "always" having a surplus, which I would
> >> >> >> "owe" to people, with zero understanding that I had worked for
> >> >> >> the extra food. Many people blow things out of proportion, and
> >> >> >> have an amazing sense of entitlement.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> If I wanted to donate food, I would do so via a food bank, soup
> >> >> >> kitchen, shelter, etc.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> This isn't about being "selfish." It's about having healthy
> >> >> >> boundaries. I have learned to sort of depersonalise any
> >> >> >> generosity, because so many prospective recipients just have no
> >> >> >> limits to what they expect, demand, and feel entitled to from me.
> >> >> > LOL! As has been stated: "Deja vu, all over again". No more in-kind
> >> >> > donations for me. Frankly, I discovered years ago that "help your
> >> >> > neighbor out a little if you can" bizness requires closer acquaintace
> >> >> > with neighbors than I want!
> >> >>
> >> >> I understand what you and CFC are saying but I have another situation.
> >> >> I
> >> >> get on well with all my neighbours and we are as close as we want to
> >> >> be,
> >> >> which varies but doesn't involve spending days at each other's house
> >> >> but
> >> >> does include actually talking and interacting beyond superficial
> >> >> politeness.
> >> >> We all help each other and give each other things. If somebody needs a
> >> >> lift
> >> >> to town or to be towed out of a bog it is done, if somebody has excess
> >> >> veges
> >> >> they give them away, if somebody has to do something and needs a child
> >> >> minder such will be found.
> >> >>
> >> >> There is no sense of entitlement nor of keeping score, nothing is given
> >> >> grudgingly nor does anybody ask for too much. It's kind of nice.
> >> >>
> >> >> David
> >> >
> >> >Same as in my neighborhood which is in the country. I used to live in
> >> >the city, life is different in the city. In the country most of my
> >> >neighbors are close as one can get to self sufficiency. If something
> >> >fails in the country, the community will come and help. Most people in
> >> >the country are "jack of all trades". Sort of like the Amish
> >> >communities. In the country "Good deeds are rewarded".
> >> >
> >> >The cities are like complex machines and much more efficient than in
> >> >those living in the country. One cog fails and the system grinds to a
> >> >halt, resulting in chaos. The cities require specialized trades to keep
> >> >the system going. When the chaos heats up it will be neighbor against
> >> >neighbor. If you give to your neighbor in the city, that specialized
> >> >neighbor will be dependent on you. In the city "No good deed goes
> >> >unpunished".
> >> >
> >> >My worldly views... Dan
> >>
> >> I live in the city. There are good neighbors and not so good neighbors
> >> everywhere, I suspect. I think what you project is often what you
> >> receive.
> >Not receive, taken! by others from those that live in the city.
> >You can have that delusional world called the "city" :)
>
> Granted, I would love to live in the country with lots of acres and
> neighbors down the road apiece. "My yard" is full of trees and herbs
> and flowers - one neighbor likes it because it looks country - another
> hates it for the same reason.
> >
> >> I like giving.
> >Sounds like a preachers wife or goes to church in the hope of salvation.
> >Do you give because if you do not give, you will not be in Gods favor.
>
> LOL! Last time I was in a church was for a funeral, a few years ago.
> It's probably just a bad habit, as I'm not good at all at taking. And
> there are too many "Gods" out there for me to try to win over.
> >
> >If you give and expect absolutely nothing in return, including salvation.
> >Then I have the highest respect and regards to you!
>
> I don't have a clue what salvation would look like, but I tend to
> think it's a state of mind, not something that happens after we're
> composting.
> >
> >Enjoy Life... Dan
>
> I do sometimes - same back at you.
It amazes me how many people think alike here :)
My alter is my garden, always kneeling and using lots of holy water :)
Enjoy Life... Dan
--
Garden in Zone 5 South East Michigan.
Posted by David Hare-Scott on March 6, 2010, 2:11 am
Dan L. wrote:
>>>> I like giving.
>>> Sounds like a preachers wife or goes to church in the hope of
>>> salvation. Do you give because if you do not give, you will not be
>>> in Gods favor.
>>
>> LOL! Last time I was in a church was for a funeral, a few years ago.
>> It's probably just a bad habit, as I'm not good at all at taking. And
>> there are too many "Gods" out there for me to try to win over.
>>>
>>> If you give and expect absolutely nothing in return, including
>>> salvation. Then I have the highest respect and regards to you!
>>
>> I don't have a clue what salvation would look like, but I tend to
>> think it's a state of mind, not something that happens after we're
>> composting.
>>>
>>> Enjoy Life... Dan
>>
>> I do sometimes - same back at you.
>
> It amazes me how many people think alike here :)
> My alter is my garden, always kneeling and using lots of holy water :)
>
> Enjoy Life... Dan
Your own I hope.
D
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>> On Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:48:46 -0500, "Dan L."
>>
>> >
>> >> balvenieman@invalid.net wrote:
>> >> >
>> >> >> I would never do something like that. It would lead to being
>> >> >> personally marked as "always" having a surplus, which I would
>> >> >> "owe" to people, with zero understanding that I had worked for
>> >> >> the extra food. Many people blow things out of proportion, and
>> >> >> have an amazing sense of entitlement.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> If I wanted to donate food, I would do so via a food bank, soup
>> >> >> kitchen, shelter, etc.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> This isn't about being "selfish." It's about having healthy
>> >> >> boundaries. I have learned to sort of depersonalise any
>> >> >> generosity, because so many prospective recipients just have no
>> >> >> limits to what they expect, demand, and feel entitled to from me.
>> >> > LOL! As has been stated: "Deja vu, all over again". No more in-kind
>> >> > donations for me. Frankly, I discovered years ago that "help your
>> >> > neighbor out a little if you can" bizness requires closer acquaintace
>> >> > with neighbors than I want!
>> >>
>> >> I understand what you and CFC are saying but I have another situation. I
>> >> get on well with all my neighbours and we are as close as we want to be,
>> >> which varies but doesn't involve spending days at each other's house but
>> >> does include actually talking and interacting beyond superficial
>> >> politeness.
>> >> We all help each other and give each other things. If somebody needs a
>> >> lift
>> >> to town or to be towed out of a bog it is done, if somebody has excess
>> >> veges
>> >> they give them away, if somebody has to do something and needs a child
>> >> minder such will be found.
>> >>
>> >> There is no sense of entitlement nor of keeping score, nothing is given
>> >> grudgingly nor does anybody ask for too much. It's kind of nice.
>> >>
>> >> David
>> >
>> >Same as in my neighborhood which is in the country. I used to live in
>> >the city, life is different in the city. In the country most of my
>> >neighbors are close as one can get to self sufficiency. If something
>> >fails in the country, the community will come and help. Most people in
>> >the country are "jack of all trades". Sort of like the Amish
>> >communities. In the country "Good deeds are rewarded".
>> >
>> >The cities are like complex machines and much more efficient than in
>> >those living in the country. One cog fails and the system grinds to a
>> >halt, resulting in chaos. The cities require specialized trades to keep
>> >the system going. When the chaos heats up it will be neighbor against
>> >neighbor. If you give to your neighbor in the city, that specialized
>> >neighbor will be dependent on you. In the city "No good deed goes
>> >unpunished".
>> >
>> >My worldly views... Dan
>>
>> I live in the city. There are good neighbors and not so good neighbors
>> everywhere, I suspect. I think what you project is often what you
>> receive.
>Not receive, taken! by others from those that live in the city.
>You can have that delusional world called the "city" :)