OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

 

The following from alt.jokes.
Seems it may be of some use in deciphering the content of the backing
material used in your discussions ;-P  You may both appreciate the last
interpretation before the postscript.


"When you next read a scientific paper, make sure you have this handy
guide by your side:



"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE
QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other results
didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to
this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumour has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
FINDINGS"...
A really wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE
UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it....and I
never will.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it
either.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless
topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS
FIELD"...
I am pleased to feed you this rubbish.

Postscript:
These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading an academic
paper.?

 

anm wrote:

This list is very convincing.  I have rarely seen such depth and structure
or such an elegant formalism.  If all arguments were of this quality much
time would be saved, we would have consensus, world peace and free love.

Thanks for sharing.

David

 

On Thu, 24 Dec 2009 22:50:56 +1100, David Hare-Scott wrote:


<snip list>


<grin>
You are very welcome
Have a great Christmas!
And may both your garden and your arguments blossom in 2010.
anm

 

This is how sure science appears to be...
A great joke on the scientists, never wishing to paint themselves into a
corner.
Is it confusionism or a lack of Confucius?

On 25/12/2009 3:14 AM, anm wrote:

 



There is no-one by the name of Dave Hare who posts here.